crruuuush.

i have a crush on jonathon rhys myers.

writing this post even makes me blush. pathetic.

a-lone.

I'm feeling really alone out here in San Diego right now. The lonliness comes & goes & this is one of those times that it feels like it's taken hold & isn't leaving anytime soon. My world feels so small & I can't seem to find a way to connect with old friends anymore. I have failed to get involved here & make new friends for a number of reasons & I know that has hurt me a lot. I just long for the days when I had friends all around me & I knew what was going on in their lives & i had people who I depended on & who depended on me. I know I should let go of those days because thinking of them hinders me moving on, but part of me keeps hoping they'll come back around it'll be like it was. I lost a lot when I moved away from everyone I knew.

today.

I'm sitting under falling stars.

Do you miss me where you are?

I'm making plans to be with you.

But have they come unglued?

What am I do to without you?

i feel lost.

i feel like screaming.

i feel sad.

i feel hopeless.

i feel empty.

i feel like crying. 

i feel unglued.

i feel like things are never going to be the same again.

i feel out of control.