it's difficult to say goodbye...

Goodbye, goodbye

Walk away it's hard to say goodbye

  

    

It's amazing to know someone that knows exactly what I'm thinking with one raise of an eyebrow. For the past 12 years we were nearly inseparable until the past few years when i got married, moved & she became the random world traveler that she is. Though we've been separated by distance before, I've always enjoyed coming home & driving down L.A. Avenue knowing that she was just on the other side of it. She's been my best friend, my other-other half, my confidant, my strength, my comforter & my road trip buddy. Being back in Moorpark for the past 6 months has made me really appreciate (all over again) what an amazing friend that God blessed me with. We were an unlikely pair, but I really don't know what I would have done without her. 

Obviously, I'm pretty bummed she's leaving & I don't think I've even really started to believe it yet. 

I'm going to miss Hannah so much.

life lately.

nate's been gone since thursday. i dropped him off at long beach airport thursday afternoon, he's spending 5 days with his grandma in petaluma, a little north of san francisco. i miss him like crazy! it'll be the longest amount of time we'll be separated since we got married. 

friday night my mom hosted her work party & even though i didn't know everybody, it was a lot of fun. it was especially awesome because hannah was there & anytime she's around i have such a great time. it's amazing to know someone so well that we don't even have to talk to communicate. spending so much time with her lately makes me so sad that she's leaving so soon. but i'm just gonna keep denying that fact for the time being. 

at 6:15 on saturday morning i was woken up by sherrie's mom letting me know that harvey abram williams was born! so crazy & unexpected since he wasn't due until january 1. i left later that morning to go & see him & he is so perfect. i was so blessed to be able to hang out with sherrie all afternoon & just spend some time with little harvey. i can't wait to see him again on tuesday after i pick up nate from the airport. 

seeing harvey & being there to watch how tyler & sherrie interacted with him made me all the more excited for benjamin to come. everyday i get closer & closer & the excitement is overwhelming. 

today i went to grace for church, hung out with everyone at home fellowship, & then went to grace's christmas pageant. it was pretty awesome. after 

much debate, hannah & i decided to hang out at starbucks for a bit & rachel joined us a bit later. i love these girls, they make my life so happy. 

weird.

it's such a weird feeling to put on a shirt that used to fit really loose & find that it now looks like it's painted on.

laughter.

nate has the most genuine and joyful laugh. it's almost boyish in a way.
it makes me happy. it makes me smile. 
i hope benjamin has a laugh just like his dad.

benjamin.

i'm 24 weeks along, which means in approximately 16 weeks benjamin will be here...that's only 4 months! i'm getting more & more excited everyday. i feel so blessed to be able to experience having a child. sure, pregnancy is not my favorite thing in the world; the backaches, getting stuck sitting on the floor, the shortness of breath, the weight gain...not my favorite things. but when i think of the end result & getting to be a mom it all fades away and the excitement just sets in. 

"behold, children are a gift of the lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward." psalm 127:3

lies women believe

i've been in a study with some women from my old church for the last five weeks & it's pretty stinkin amazing. we're reading the book "lies women believe: and the truth that sets them free" by nancy leigh demoss. this week's chapter focused on lies that women believe about marriage. i've been married for almost 2.5 years & even though this chapter was a reminder of how far i still have to go, i am so thankful for this teaching so early on in my marriage.

the last section of the chapter had this list that stood out to me & convicted me on so many levels:

• there is no marriage God cannot heal. there is no person God cannot change.
• the primary purpose of marriage is not to be happy, but to glorify God and reflect His redeeming, covenant love.
• God uses the rough edges of each partner in a marriage to conform the other to the image of Christ. your mate's weaknesses can become a tool in God's hand to make you into the woman He created you to be.
• true love--God's love--is unconditional and never fails. we cannot love another human being perfectly on our own. but God can love anyone through us, if we are willing to let Him. love is not a feeling; it is a commitment to act in the best interests of another. by God's grace, we can choose to love anyone, even if we do not have warm feelings toward that person.
• marriage is a covenant. God is a covenant-keeping God. he kept His promises to the nation of Israel, even when they were spiritually adulterous and pursued other lovers. the Lord Jesus keeps His promises to His bride--the church--even when we are unfaithful to Him. because He is faithful to keep His promises, it is never right for us to break the marriage covenant that was intended to be a picture of the redemptive relationship between God and His people.
• God has commanded us to forgive without limit.
• your faithfulness and willingness to extend sacrificial love to your mate may be the means of his spiritual healing, even as Christ's suffering was the means by which we were healed.
• God's grace is sufficient to enable you to be faithful to your mate and to love and forgive without limit.
• God will never forsake you. regardless of what you must endure, He will be there to carry you through.
• the rewards of faithfulness in this life may not be fully experienced until eternity. but faithfulness will be rewarded and it will be worth the wait.

i just want to encourage married women (& future married women) to look to Christ in your marriage, know that true happiness is not found in (or out of) your marriage, know that a godly life & prayer are a wife's two greatest means of influencing your husband's life, serve your husband & be his helper, know that submission places you under the covering and protection of God and when you step out from under that authority it makes you vulnerable to attacks from the enemy, & God created man to be an initiator and the woman to be the responder.

good job.

Good job Jimmie Johnson. I'm so excited that Hendricks won yet, another championship. :)

love.

i just wanted to save it.

twilight.

i'm soooo stinkin excited about this movie.

i know i got caught up in the trend.

but i don't care. :)

proverbs 31:10-31

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. 

She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. 

She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 

She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens. 

She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 

She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 

She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night. 

She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. 

She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy. 

She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 

She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. 

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. 

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. 

She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 

She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 

"Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all." 

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 

Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

how i long to be this woman.